Coffee cereal
There are weird things tucked away in the kitchen at work. For example, this bag of Coffee Cereal. No branding or other distinguishing characteristics, just a promise written in cursive that there are “two cups of coffee in every serving!”
A sales pitch for Coffee Cereal:
“Hey! Are you lazy AND sleepy? Well, buck up, Buckminster Fuller! We’ve got the breakfast candy that’s right for you. Coffee Cereal! It’s coffee AND it’s cereal! It makes you forget how hungry and tired you are, but it’s WAY more affordable than cocaine! Do you also have digestive problems? Don’t sweat it, Brohan Sebastian Bach – you’ll be sprinting for the toilet 15 minutes after you eat it. Remember – this is cereal, so use it with milk. Don’t use coffee in your Coffee Cereal, because that would be redundant and you’d look foolish!”
I haven’t tried it yet but I’d like to. It combines two of my passions: stimulants and eating like a child.