Hurricane Sandy is rolling up the east coast in its turkey leg-shaped flight path and New York City is already aflutter with storm anxiety. This meteorological bulldozer is due to hit Brooklyn and Manhattan sometime Tuesday morning, so my fellow city dwellers and I have already laid waste to the shelves of gourmet produce items at Trader Joe’s. Sure, the power might go out, but at least our bellies can be full of chicken burritos con salsa verde.
I honestly have no idea what to expect, but a Weather Channel meteorologist named Stu Ostro seems to have no problem inflating the hell out of thing, describing Sandy as an extreme weather event that will “will occupy a place in the annals of weather history as one of the most extraordinary to have affected the United States.” He adds that “this is an extraordinary situation, and I am not prone to hyperbole.”
While sipping mochas with an acquaintance and loitering on a Clinton Hill stoop yesterday, a resident of the building walked out carrying bags and boxes that he proceeded to load into his car. He told us that he was getting out of town, holing up in Maine until Sandy blew over and he could safely get back. He feared for “hardened city guys” whose idea of storm preparedness consisted of buying two bottles of whiskey instead of the customary one, adding that the real danger isn’t even in running out of food, but in the potential failure of infrastructure. The inability to get around via subway or bus could put a real damper on things and your Amazon delivery of socks and pasta probably won’t be arriving on time.
Public transportation has been shut down since 7:00 PM, so it’s getting a little real. Here are the requisite steps to make sure that you get through this one unscathed:
- tweet something sardonic
And you’re done!