Dylan Love: editorial gun for hire.

The worst job interview I ever had

I wrote up an abridged telling of the worst job interview I ever had for this story on Business Insider, which was (wisely) edited down. Here’s the original.

I was on a get-a-job reality show for MTV when things were especially hand-to-mouth in 2010 (don’t bother Googling the show, it never aired). At the bottom of my resume is a “miscellaneous” section where I brag about offbeat skills. One of these is sleight of hand magic.

If you’ve ever participated in some sort of professional TV operation, you know there’s a lot going on. Lights punch your eyes, camera people try to maneuver both quickly and silently. The cliched type-A producer whisper-barks orders into her headset and the whole placed buzzed with anxious energy.

I sat down at the job interview desk, squared off against an especially white-toothed guy in broadcast makeup while I did my best impression of someone who has it totally together. White-Toothed Guy rattles off the worst interview questions you’d expect, but in a totally over-the-top manner, hamming it up for the folks at home: “So, Dylan…What’s your ***biggest*** ***weakness***?”

Save for the fact that I was participating in a reality show where the winner got a job stocking shelves at a raw vegan grocery store, I get through the interview mostly unscathed, dignity largely intact. Then White Teeth took it from me.

“Your resume mentions magic! How about a card trick?!”

I didn’t have cards on me (my mistake, as a standard deck is my go-to magic prop), but I did have some loose change in my pocket. I produced a quarter, made it disappear, and to my great embarrassment, literally said “Tah-dah!”

White Teeth calls my bluff: “You just put it in your other hand. I know that one, that’s called a French Drop. That’s one of the first magic tricks a kid learns!” He chuckles (pretty sure at me rather than with me), which is enough to get Type-A Producer to emit a “Pfffffttt!” This sets off the rest of the production team, and now a room full of television professionals is laughing at me.

I took the 2 train home.