What I’ve been up to
When things are busy, things are good. And for the past two weeks, things have been great.
The No Self-Deprecating Jokes Experiment of 2012 is going along swimmingly. I am actually writing material with a point of view other than, “Hey, look at me. Don’t I suck?!”
I used to date a receptionist who was really an actor, but who was really a receptionist. She used to invest in all kinds of classes to make her into a better actor (“word-pretender”). One of these was Alexander technique, a means to improve your posture and control the impulse to slouch. She cried on her first day of class – the teacher holds your head a certain way, tells you to stand very specifically, then suddenly the universe aligns and you’re aware of your entire body in a way you’ve never felt before. The only natural reaction is to tear up.
I’m not welling up or anything, but I do feel the bad brain habits being broken. Maybe Alexander technique is for me. Sometimes I’m a question mark with legs.
And I’m doing much better at managing my anxiety. I used to think I’d like to go in to a hospital to have a doctor induce a coma for me. I imagine this procedure consisting of him injecting me with a comically oversized syringe labeled “COMA.” Anxiety is one of many fuels for the brain machine, but it can rip it apart at the same time. That’s why when I feel like I’m riding a tornado, I put on “Hard Times Come Again No More” and lie to myself, saying it doesn’t make me feel weepy. Then I shout improvised affirmations at whoever’s there to hear them.
“I’m me! I’m myself! I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be!”
This results in lots of strange looks from coworkers.
Mind over matter is for suckers. This is mind over mind.
In between my game of mentally arm-wrestling myself, I am making plenty of time for fun. I got to partake in the lie of television! Here’s where I sat during John Oliver’s New York Standup special last night: